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Originally Posted By Jennifer

My advice is simple, don't be silly. If your aparents have a problem with you finding your bparents it is THEIR problem NOT your's. There is absolutely no reason you or your children should have to sneak around or lie or feel uncomfortable. How silly. You aparents made a choice to adopt you and if at that time or now they didn't deal with the fact that one day you might want or need to contact your bparents then shame on them! You should feel free to mention your bparents in whatever way they would come up naturally. There is no reason to "push" something on your aparents that they aren't comfortable with. I'm not saying that you should expect to sit down and have long conversations with them about your bparents. HOWEVER, you certainly should be able to mention your having met them and your excitement about meeting them without concern for your aparents reaction. You are an adult and should act as such. Adults don't need to sneak around behind their parent's backs doing something that should be able to be out in the open. For goodness sake. It sounds like your aparents need a good dose of reality. The reality is that they chose to adopt children. Those children are now adults and they have a right to know their bparents if they so chose. Don't bully your parents and try to force them to accept your relationship with your bparents but at the same time don't let them bully you into feeling uncomfortable about your decision. If you are respectful of them and they of you there shouldn't be a problem. I wish you the best of luck.