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I am glad that you think that you have found your b-mom. But... It is my opinion and only my opinion and I am sure others will concur.
You should mail the letter and it should be simple. Also add a self addressed postcard. your questions can be asked later but give her a chance to come to grips with who the letter is from. Do a search and you will find what others have done.
If she has no idea that you are looking for her and you ambush her with your DH and 2 friends, you put everything at an immediate disadvantage. So many reunions go sour from little misunderstandings and to do this would put any chance of a solid relationship in jeopardy.
I am sure that you are excited and it is not what you want to hear, but it is my opinion and I may be totally wrong. But think about it. You only get one chance at the first contact. It is too important to risk.
Best wishes.
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