[myangels]

Our almost 15 year old boy we are adopting is really big on "his rights" He has the right to speak however he wants to say whatever he wants and to answer in a rude way or so he thinks. We have explained over and over you do NOT have the right to treat others badly! He likes to argue with our perteen ALL the time. If our preteen says anything shes wrong or so he says. This is getting annoying and although our preteen* biological daughter* loves him and accepts him as her brother I can tell she is annoyed as we all are. ( She won't ADMIT she is annoyed but I can tell). Counselor says sisters and brothers argue but about everything?

He has a troubled past with fighting ect and has been kicked out of school for fighting once since he lived with us. How do we teach him it is wrong to fight when he THINKS it is ok? When he THINKS it is ok to treat others badly? We don't want to give up on him .We refuse to give up on him. I believe this is what he wants us to do. He is no longer allowed to contact his friends from where he is from because they are got in a LOT of trouble together ( He says they did drugs but this is questionable . he may just be saying it to look big and bad) . His counselor agrees it is best he does not contact them at all as his friend is really bad bad news. I know he misses him and misses his old life the freedom.

I can tell he wants to try to do right . When he got suspended for fighting he took it really hard and he was really disappointed in himself . He was so scared that we was going to kick him out when we got the call. We have more good days then bad days but the bad days are bad.

I know we can't change past behavior over night but I'd like to know what else I can do to help? He is in counseling and according to his school ( besides the one fight) he is a perfect student very respectful.

He acts big and bad but in reality he is just a kid at heart spends hours watching cartoons ect . It seems he fights when he feel uncomfortable and he feel he HAS to fight to show them how bad he is. If a kid is making fun of him and embarassing him infront of the class he thinks the answer is to hit that kid. I am guessing some of the rudeness is a teen thing? I want to help him but I am not sure what to do. He has no confidence in himself at all but yet lies to others to make himself look better at things then he is. He is starting a sport next month so we are hoping this will help. We also want to put him in Karate but fear this may promote him wanting to fight?

I am going on and on sorry!!!

any advice welcomed