[bmac1234]

My wife and I are now ready to make our next step in building our family. Unlike our first adoption that turned out to be a win, win. We have become syndical about the agencies and attorneys. We have contacted a prominent attorney in FL. That we thought did a great job with our first adoption. We live in Fl. So that helped. They are now delaying the process unlike before and we are not sure why. We followed their instruction completely the first time and paid everything they requested (they should love us).

Now after reviewing this and other forums it has become more clear to us that some (not all) birthmothers/parents have influences including counselors that work for the attorney pushing or pressuring birthmothers into their decision. Would it be undermining the attorney to offer outside counseling? Would a birthmother feel we had overstepped our boundaries to even offer this?

I am getting the feeling that most agencies or attorneys are more concerned with the all mighty dollar and not a correct match. Unfortunately this seems to be the system like it or not. This is not about the money; it is about a correct match. As we all know there are many more adoptive families the birthparents. We are extremely honest (sometimes to a fault). We will not be strong armed by an agency. We are finding this to be a problem when selecting if we should use our previous attorney or not. We have interviewed many attorneys and agencies and found they are nearly the same.

We have finished our “dear birthparent letter” (although it is much different then our first (less fluff more facts). We have our “profile done and bound like a book to describe our family. But, for the first time we are feeling disconnected with the agency/attorney and would like to better connect with the birth mom/parents.

Of course this is not how the agencies seem to actually work (to benefit both partys). So I guess my question is, do we “play the game’ or “buck the system”?

Perhaps I’m venting as well as asking questions. Any feedback would be appreciated.