Like I said, this is contrary, I think, to NY state law--they can ask you if you'd rather take legal custody, but they aren't supposed to force you.
They are supposed to approve you as a foster parent within 24 hours if that is what you want to do--quote the citation below to the cw! See the statutes at the end of this.
Again, tons of good information here:
State Statutes - Descriptions including the sections I've pasted below. Especially see case planning, permanency planning, placement with relatives, etc. The sections give you the NY statute numbers so you can start doing original research too off the NY state code online.
Most attorneys will give a free consultation of about a half hour. When you ask for one, be prepared to do it right then. Give them the tightest summary possible of just the facts--how long ago removal, reason if you know, current placement, when you contacted ss, your status--married, own home x years, no convictions, status of your efforts to be approved for placement, status of your efforts to go ahead and get the full license (you really should try to do this), what the cw has told you re placement and the threats she has made if you do not agree to take simple legal custody. You want to talk as little as possible--don't offer your opinions or chat about what a jerk your BIL may be, etc.--and let them tell you what the law says, your options, what they can/can't do for you.
After speaking with a few, you will soon figure out who knows what they're talking about, who is a good fit for you, etc.
To find one, call your local district family court and ask for the list of guardian ad litem attorneys appointed in foster cases. Be aware that GALs are appointed by and work for the court, not social services. Many also have a private family law practice. Those are the ones you are looking for.
Be aware that most attorneys cannot actually do much legal work for you if you are not a party to the case. They can, however, give you advice and of the many I talked to, almost all were helpful in that consultation.
Also when you contact the family court, ask what is the procedure in a foster care case for filing to become an intervenor, person with a legitimate interest, or whatever a relative can do to either become a party to the case or at least be notified of and allowed in to all legal proceedings.
I have a feeling it is a bluff, but where the child is already placed elsewhere, time is of the essence--keep going up the chain of command within that office and then to whatever is over it. Somebody in charge somewhere won't like that this cw is wasting a licensed foster bed on a child that could be with family--the cost to the agency is a wash, and, again, they need that bed for another child.
Good luck!
Relative Placement for Foster Care and Guardianship
Citation: Fam. Ct. Act § 1017
The court should determine whether the relative seeks approval as a foster parent for the purposes of providing
care for a child in need of placement or wishes to provide free care and custody for the child during the pendency
of any orders.
Requirements for Placement with Relatives
Citation: Fam. Ct. Act § 1017
The commissioner, pursuant to regulations of the Department of Social Services, will perform an investigation of the
home of the relative within 24 hours and approve such relative, if qualified, as a foster parent.
Relatives Who May Adopt
Citation: Soc. Serv. Law § 383-c
Subject to relinquishment by a parent, the court shall accept all petitions for the adoption of a child by any relative
of the child.
Requirements for Adoption by Relatives
Citation: Soc. Serv. Law § 383-c
A home study is required.