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I have always thought that keeping birth order (or adoption order) in tact in the way to go. I would make the new child the youngest - so whatever that means for your timing (maybe waiting?). But, I do want to say that it may not be easier on your little one in a year or two. It has been really hard on my then 9, now 12 year old. It's hard to understand some of the kids needs as an adult - for kids it can be even tougher! Good luck!
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