[Howdy]

My daughter is 12 yrs old and in seventh grade. She gets a lot of homework. According to her all the other kids can do it quickly and easily. I have trouble believing that because for the last couple weeks I have helped her with her homework (previously, I left it totally up to her) and I myself can't do it in the amount of time the teachers' claim it can be done.

Due to all the trauma during her first 7 1/2 years she is not able to listen effectively in class (too much competition from intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, auditory hallucinations, etc). It seems to be affecting her worse now than during elementary school; or maybe the difference is a combination of more demanding school work and now she has the maturity to explain what she is experiencing. She told me she is constanty bothered by the memories but can push them back temporarily while she is having fun with friends.

But, she presents herself as a bright outgoing normal kid. It is not at all obvious to her teachers (or any other adults -- including one past therapist who should have known better) that she is laboring under any handicap.

The pediatrician refuses to prescribe any meds to help my daughter control the flashbacks etc, (even though we brought a note from her therapist) because she is too suicidal and he doesn't want the responsibility.

We are trying to get in to see a child pyschiatrist, but the wait for an appointment is a couple months.

So, meanwhile I spoke to the school counselor and she said she herself would not be able to influence the teachers into lessening the homework, but she will schedule a meeting of all of them with me so I can attempt to plead my case for more reasonable expectations.

Can anyone help me figure out what I should say? My daughter does not want any details shared with anyone, and I don't know how to get the teachers (who were totally unresponsive and even rather obnoxious during the parent-teacher conferences last month) to take me seriously if they don't know the extent of the experiences she suffered.

How can I convince them that she is not just goofing off and refusing to take school seriously?

She cries at bedtime because she thinks she is too stupid. Unfortunately her goal is to get all her homework done and get straight A's, so she is terribly frustrated at how hard it is for her, and I have not succeeded in convincing her to have more realistic expectations of herself.

I don't want to keep helping her with her homework because there is so much of it that I have no time for me, and also because we both have to give up sleep to attempt (unsuccessfully) to get it all done. Then I get crabby and weepy from sleep deprivation and she falls asleep in class.

She doesn't want to be homeschooled again because she is at the age where friends are so important to her.