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Originally Posted by SoniaRose
Thanks for the answer. I had suspected as such, but I've never read any of the literature about adoption loss because I haven't wanted to think about it.
I look back at the photos taken when my aparents first brought me home, and I appear totally shell shocked -- a blank expression with big eyes and my mouth wide open. Everyone is smiling while they're posing next to me, and I was probably wondering what was going on, where was I, and who were all these people?
To refer back to the other discussion as to whether or not we are defined by adoption, I would have to say YES -- that early trauma had to have made an imprint on my infant self.
However, I realize that everyone involved in my adoption had only my best interests at heart. My bmom relinquished me to give me the best life possible. My aparents were good parents. And I'm not totally dysfunctional -- I've been married 27 years, have 3 kids, etc. I'm just a little insecure and emotionally sensitive, but that's okay.  |
GIRL, I have the SAME look in all my baby pictures, lol! My A Mom always said I would just stare at people all the time, like, "Who ARE you people???"
There are soooo many books out there that have helped me. "Primal Wound" and "25 things every adopted child wished their adopted parents knew" helped me more than I can say.
When I read those books, it was if the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders- like "Yes!!! I am normal!!!" (whatever normal is, lol)
Another one, which I recommend to EVERYONE is "The Girls Who Went Away." I had glimpses into my n mom's life while she was at the maternity home, and knew it was bad, I had NO IDEA some of the things that went on, which seemed to be "the norm" back then.
Part of the healing process is understanding us & them, and it is NOT easy for any of us. I do think it's worth it in the end, though!
"However, I realize that everyone involved in my adoption had only my best interests at heart. My bmom relinquished me to give me the best life possible. My aparents were good parents. And I'm not totally dysfunctional -- I've been married 27 years, have 3 kids, etc. I'm just a little insecure and emotionally sensitive, but that's okay."
Bingo.
