Thanks for the answer. I had suspected as such, but I've never read any of the literature about adoption loss because I haven't wanted to think about it.
I look back at the photos taken when my aparents first brought me home, and I appear totally shell shocked -- a blank expression with big eyes and my mouth wide open. Everyone is smiling while they're posing next to me, and I was probably wondering what was going on, where was I, and who were all these people?
To refer back to the other discussion as to whether or not we are defined by adoption, I would have to say YES -- that early trauma had to have made an imprint on my infant self.
However, I realize that everyone involved in my adoption had only my best interests at heart. My bmom relinquished me to give me the best life possible. My aparents were good parents. And I'm not totally dysfunctional -- I've been married 27 years, have 3 kids, etc. I'm just a little insecure and emotionally sensitive, but that's okay.
