[BparentsCandJ]

We need advice from anyone who could help.
We are birth parents to 3 boys, 2 of which we have placed in "open adoption" and now about to be a third.

The first adoption was through an agency which did not go well. The 1 agency repeatedly lied, 2 messed up the paperwork, 3 threatened us both, 4 and generally made everything crazy.
One they lied about everything. The amount of communication we would have with prospective AP's, we only got to speak with them about four times before the birth. They also lied repeatedly about living expenses, they would tell us to go pawn x and use the money to go to the doctor or get meds ect and keep the receipt that they would reimburse us so we could get x out of pawn, never happened we lost a lot because of that. They also lied about the contact we would have with the baby in the hospital. We were told the amount of contact was up to us and we had decided the baby would go between us and the AP's until both Bmom and baby were discharged. Nope, when we asked to see the baby we were told that was not the plan in place. They also lied about the "exit strategy", we were told we would have a chance to say goodbye, not so the AP's called 5 mins before they were supposed to leave for the airport and said come out and say goodbye then got mad when I started to cry and just left.
Secondly they filled out the paperwork to show the baby was to be released and be in the custody of the agency. When me and my husband protested (in labor recovery by the way) we were told if we did not sign the paperwork we would have to leave but our son could not and we would have no say so in what happened. Finally after my husband called an attorney they did rewrite the paperwork.
Thirdly after the AP's just ran off they were supposed to call when they got home. Nope again and after trying to contact them and trying to have the agency contact them for a week, we signed the forms to resend the adoption. When the agency found out they threatened to sue us if we went through with them.
In the end we did decide no matter how we felt it was really the best place for our son and they could give him opportunities we could not.

The second adoption ended up being a private adoption with the adoptive parents from our first adoption. This did not work out that well either for three reasons. One the problems from the first adoption were all blamed on the agency (by the adoptive parents) so we agreed to give them another chance so our children could be together. Now to their defense I will admit that not all of the original problems resurfaced but some did (mostly they still did lie about it being completely open, they do keep contact with my husbands parents still but not us). Secondly they would say yes then would say they were not sure,this went on up until the end (which by the way we found out after we finalized that they had argued with my husbands mother that even though they promised us they would bring our first child we adopted to them when we gave birth to the second that they actually had no intention of doing so until my mother in law told the we would back out if we found out they continued to lie). Thirdly the living expenses were very awkward to discuss for us. We honestly ended up in some financial problems because of this (not as bad as with the agency though).
Also I must add one very good thing in their defense, when we did get to met our first son we adopted to them the very way he held me in such high esteem did prove to me that they did at least raise him believing that I do love him and made the choice for him instead of I'm a loser or worse. Our son though on the down side really did not seem to know much about my husband or that he made the decision with me, to some extent it was almost like he didn't exist.


Obviously we are not newbies but here are our questions.
We are obviously not going back to the first agency and obviously not going back with the same couple, but I am almost 3 months pregnant again and looking at adoption. So what we are asking is for positive or negative experiences with agencies or facilitators. At the moment we are looking at "Abby's One True Gift Adoptions" so any input on that would be helpful. We did read the rules for this on here and understand that anyone who replies will have to pm us and I hope we are not breaking any other rules by asking for this information.
Thank you for your time.