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Hi My Sweet Friends,
Yes, I am here but have not been on board much. Thank you for continuing to think of me.
I guess I have not been writing because everything remains the same and there is simply nothing else I can think of to do. The best news is that my son remains with me and my husband. I hired another lawyer to try and fix things, paid him too much money, got the run-around for a year and plenty of initial promises but no answers.
I have begun a PhD program and this causes me to be away from my son a few days a week but is also a terrific thing in so many ways. My son has been handling it even better than I had expected so that helps the most. The only deal-breaker for school would have been any difficulties he might have. We still live in the same place but I have a small apartment on campus and travel back and forth weekly.
I am very proud to have been accepted into a World-renowned PhD program in Instructional Systems. I am working very hard and so far am doing very well.
My DH's health is fine for now although he still says he is not able to work.
My son is winning award after award at school and has been placed in an accelerated program where he also won the top award for that. I am a proud Momma!!!
I have to make a choice: Do I go hire yet another lawyer to finalize things legally or do I accept that she really does not want him, does not want to see him, and wait for her to make the next move? VERY scary if I wait for her - but I have been through so many lawyers and even my last one (so full of promise and &*^&%%) took my money and delivered nothing yet again.
So for today I will concentrate on my son, my job, and my education and try to move forward with my life understanding that things are not wrapped up all nice and neat but I can have a good life anyway. Each day I make a conscious choice what to do about this adoption. It is sad that I wake up every morning and spend precious time deciding if I should call a lawyer today - or not. It is sad that ....... well, I can't get into the whole thing about all of this or it will not be a good day for me.
Please know, my sweet Friends, that I also think of you, that I really appreciate your thinking of me, that sometimes I feel overwhelmed because this is something I live with every day and see no ending to, but that I am doing the very best I can do to move my life forward, love my son, and I am actively doing things to ensure us a better future.
At least now I wake up and think One day..........
And I am able to smile about that.
My love to each of you.
Christie
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