[minibus]

I love adoption stories!

I'll try to make ours short(er).

It never occurred to us that we wouldn't be able to conceive a child. In ART treatment, DH had surgery, we tried IUI, we tried IVF/ICSI, we tried donor sperm. I finally got pregnant, only to lose the baby in the 2nd trimester. Before our last ART attempts, we started to look into adoption. I didn't know if I could bond with a child who didn't look like me, a child who didn't come out of my body, a child who wasn't what I pictured in my head, as I had been picturing since I was young. When we got pregnant, we stopped our adoption process. When I miscarried, I knew that I couldn't go through that again. I wanted a family and I didn't want to live with "what if I miscarry late again?"

We literally re-started our adoption process within a day or two of my miscarriage. I wanted to look forward rather than dwelling on the past.

We finished our homestudy MUCH more quickly than I had thought we would and we actually waited for a couple of extra months to go active.

We got several calls (one even before we officially went active) over the next couple of months. I was heartbroken the first time we agreed to be showed as PAPs and the expectant mother chose another PAP. We were matched in 3 months and got a call a few days later that the EMom had given birth that day, rather than on her due date - which had been given to us as 6 weeks down the road! We flew to the birth state, telling close family and friends all about our prospective child. We spent 3 days in the hospital with Baby and then the adoption plan fell through and the baby had to go into the foster care system. I cried for days, crying when I thought I had no tears left.

Another month of possible situations went by. We would get called and then nothing would come of the situation. We got called one day about a pair of siblings - a 3 month old boy and a 20 month old girl. We talked about it and said "Why not? We said we were open to siblings, and we would get a boy AND a girl!" We didn't hear anything for more than a week. We basically gave up and figured we'd wait for the next situation. We figured that the PBM had gone to the agency, feeling overwhelmed and wasn't interested anymore, having gotten her life back under control.

About 10 days from the first call, we got another call from our worker, saying that the PBM's agency was again asking if we were interested. We didn't know why they were asking again. We again stated our interest.

It was another couple of days before we heard from them again. They said that the PBM was scheduled to sign in two days! We were excited again, but wary. We had gone through this a month ago, sure that that PBM would sign. We had traveled to the same place, rented the same car, stayed in the same hotel and come home with nothing but broken hearts and baby supplies for which we had no use.

We got to the birth state and did some quick shopping, never having conceived that we could possibly get TWO children, one a toddler, no less!

The next day, we awaited the call from the PBM's social worker. With each passing second, I was SURE that she would call and tell us that the PBM hadn't showed up, had changed her mind, wanted time to think about it. We waited and waited and waited. We finally got the call to come to the office and were told that the birthmom had signed TPR.

We met OUR children a couple of minutes later. Our son was sucking down a huge bottle of formula (typical of him!) and our daughter was taking her shoes on and off (to this day, one of her favorite activities!).

Four months later, here we are. We are a family. Today, on our daughter's 2nd birthday, we received notification that their birth father's rights were terminated in court yesterday (via advertisement)! We will finalize early next year, but these two quirky, adorable children are ours. They don't look anything like me, they don't look anything like the children I had pictured for so many years, but they ARE my children, and I wouldn't have it any other way.