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Originally Posted by SoniaRose
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So now I wonder if I recognized her as my mother during those visits?
I was placed with my aparents at 9 months. My amom has told me that I was not a warm and friendly baby. I had suspected that perhaps my foster mom didn't hold me or give me much attention. The fact that my bmom visited me and struggled with the relinquishment throws everything in a new light for me.
Was I an unhappy baby because I was confused and missing my bmom? I can't imagine what I might have been thinking or feeling.
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Of COURSE you recognized her, as horridly painful as it is to think about it.
There is NO bond more powerful than a baby and it's mother. Babies know their mother's breathing patters, voice, walking rhythms and scent. It also why so many of us have difficulties bonding with other people, for the rest of our lives...especially our a moms. Its as if we are psychologically afraid to bond, because we fear abandonment. There have been many studies and books written on this subject.
Many a parents today have certain things they do to ease the effects of attachment disorders. Psychology has come such a long way since the "baby scoop" era.
Many studies show that babies (especially those who spent time being bounced around to different foster parents, or who were adopted later in infancy) are very "unwelcoming" to their a families...to many people.
I had that light bulb moment for myself when I found out that I had been bounced around. I wasn't placed with my a parents until I was 5 months old. My attachment disorders and fears of rejection made so much more sense to me, SoniaRose.
Its just another thing that fills in the blanks and helps us to heal.