I posted this before years ago I think, but figured I'd start things here today by sharing again.
"A Post It Note Can Change Your Life"
As an adoptive mom, one doesn’t necessarily prepare for her child the traditional way. And yet, the anticipation, the dreams, the “what if’s”, the excitement and even the fear are still there. And there’s always the day you find out you will become a mom…don’t think that is ever forgotten.
I got the mail one spring day and amongst the usual bills and junk was a letter from the adoption agency. I was expecting some paperwork to sign, so at first glance the letter wasn’t a big surprise. Stuck inside that letter though was a picture of 4 children with a little post it sticky saying, “Thought you might be interested”.
I laughed. 4??
I have no kids at all and you think I want 4? At the same time? I looked at that picture again, put it down, picked it up, put it down, had a glass of wine… Then figured I’d just leave it out on the table for dh to see first thing when he arrived home from work. He saw it alright!
The blood rushed from his face and he looked at me like a deer caught in headlights. “4? OMG! 4?
Are you nuts?”
Thus began our adoption journey of our little ones, who were 5,4,3&2 years of age. We met their social worker and discussed some of the background, bparents, and possibility of some issues. Deciding to forge ahead was relatively easy now that I think back on it. I mean really, once you say to yourself “4 kids at once is doable”, you pretty much think anything after that will be a cakewalk, right?
After a couple months of visits and transitioning, our kids moved in forever. That day was a mixture of happiness and sadness for them. They were happy to be with us and yet sad to leave their foster home and the people who cared for them. And even with the visits to our home, everything was still so new. New rules, city, house, rooms, beds, toys, not to mention new parents! It was a challenging beginning trying to balance out the new with the old, set up a routine, try to bond with all of them both individually and as a group. Think we established more than a few routines that first month, after discovering some things just didn’t work. How would I know on the first day that brushing your teeth in the upstairs bathroom would create a temper tantrum? Yet going potty up there was perfectly fine? Or getting them all breakfast at the same time before getting a cup of coffee would be so hard? **Note:
ALWAYS get the coffee first!
And yes, we’ve had our share of “special” challenges to overcome. One does not go into this thinking “love is enough”. Or if you do, then I strongly recommend you have a back up plan. My daughter especially has given me many a trying day making me delve into the most creative type of parenting I can come up with. Some days it works, and some days it doesn’t. My youngest son was so sad from the time we met him and for a few months after. Little by little, though he started to bond and I’ll never forget the first time my baby smiled a huge grin at me. My oldest son asked the same questions over and over again to ensure my answers would stay the same. And then there was my middle boy who had no place at all within the group. So many additional things to overcome, all while learning how to be just a parent too.
Things have calmed down a lot and we are 6 years into our family. Life is pretty normal for the most part. My definition of calm though probably differs from a lot of other people’s definition. If I can get through the day and still have some band aids left, at least one toilet is still functioning, the dog’s toenails have not been painted pink, I remembered to wear shoes when leaving the house, it only took 10 min. to decide where they were going to sit in the car, I only heard “uh-oh” a few times, they actually brushed their teeth and not just ate some toothpaste, wash their hands (WITH soap), I didn’t hear “here, try this” except at the dinner table, and the bug collection has remained in it’s special box OUTSIDE, well, we had a pretty calm day.
So yah…I might be a little nuts, which seems to be the general question I get asked when they find out I went from zero to 4 kids overnight. But I can’t imagine my family any other way. I am a proud momma and despite some days when “the dog bites”, I do know how lucky I am to parent these beautiful awesome kids.
And yes, I still have the sticky note I received that life-changing day. Just a little piece of paper…who would have thought all it would bring?
