For four years I've had a blog about our home renovation and life, and until yesterday I had never once had a troll.
Since we decided to adopt a few months ago, I've been posting about our decision and about our preparations for the home study and a baby. So the other day, I posted a detailed post about how I'd made really good progress organizing our master bedroom, which is the most cluttered room in the house. I gave away two more pairs of shoes (trying to narrow down the collection), organized my hosiery drawer, etc.
A woman who'd never commented before commented the following:
Quote:
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"You need to grow up! From what I have read on your blog, you are a spoiled brat who is unfit to raise a child! You are so worried about your precious clothes and shoes. Do you really think a baby cares about where you need to put your crap? You are going to learn quickly that it won't be about you anymore once a child comes into your life. That is if God even lets you be so lucky!"
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This person has obviously missed the point entirely that the decluttering and organizing and giving away I'm doing now is directly
because of our future child - to make room for them and to make a simpler life in preparation for the complications (good ones!) a child brings.
And how does my interest in clothes have
anything to do with whether I'm "fit" to raise a child? We don't have any children yet, and we both have good jobs - there's nothing wrong with spending money on ourselves! And even after we have children, that doesn't mean we have to live likes monks!
And, most hilarious-yet-infuriating to me - is she implying that God might not let me have a baby because I like shoes?
I didn't want to get into it with this commenter - not worth it - but my sister posted a response defending me, and then the commenter came back again today and left another comment, this one even meaner (and even less relevant) than the first, accusing me of not keeping a clean house, making my husband wait on me (huh?), and concluding by calling me a moron!
After some thought, I decided to delete the second comment. This person is obviously getting a thrill out of being able to spout her opinions in a "safe" manner - on the Internet, where no one can see her.
But now I need to vent because it makes me furious that now that I'm going to adopt a child, this woman thinks she has the right to criticize me. She doesn't agree with how I live my life, and because parenting is going to be involved, she feels a "duty" to point out all my flaws to me.
I've been reading adoption and infertility blogs for years, and it seems they all run into trolls at least once in their blogging careers. That's usually what leads to people closing up shop on their blogs or turning them private. It's just not worth it to put yourself out there for judgemental jerks to insult you.
Why do women feel the need to judge each other so harshly, especially when it comes to parenting? Even in real life, women gossip about whose house is clean, who's breastfeeding and who's not, why so-and-so's choice for this-or-that is wrong or stupid. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh! Why can't people just do what they want to do and let other people be?