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I was someone who beleived that I had no right to contact my son. I had thought 'I'll put my information out there and then he can find me if he wants to'. Then I turned 40! And I read a lot of posts here, especially from a lot of adoptees that said they would want their moms to find them. So I figured what the heck.
One false start and we finally got in contact 3 months before he turned 22.
He said he got a letter that I'd written when he was born when he turned 18 and he did an attempt at looking for me (although he didn't look too hard).
I've been lucky! He's glad I found him, glad to have me in his life. It's tough though- he's a guy, he's not into expressing emotions really, he's lousy on the phone, he's ok in emails but is extremely busy in his life. So it's a little frustrating for me, but I'm glad to have him there, glad to know he's ok and to know I can reach out to him if I need to.
I personally think it's worth it to search and at least let him know you're interested if and when he is. But try to prepare yourself as much as possible that he may not be ready. He may also be extremely negative, but don't take that as the be all and end all...
I know he's only 18, but I would try to make contact with him directly. That might be a little controversial to say! But technically he IS of legal age. I say this because my son's amom got contacted first and said 'nope he's not interested and too busy' without asking him. That wasn't the case.
I leave the what and when he shares with relatives up to him.
Good luck! Please share your journey with us! Let us know what you decide to do and how it goes (I personally am a curious creature).
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