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my dd had 3 brothers. One is full fblooded and two half brothers ranging in age from 4 to 12. First children react differently than you probably have in your head. I know I imagined the older brothers thinking about her all the time and since their mom has no interest in a realitionship for them with my dd, they seem ok if we bump into them. However it is sort of sad since they ask their cousins for pictures of her. But they still aren't thinking on an adult level. They will probably just be glad to have a baby to play with.
I too asked for pictures from bmom, which were never received, so I know how you feel there.
But I also agree only agree with what you are comfortable with as for the openess. But if you all live as far apart as it seems, I don't expect you will have a big issue of unplanned visits.
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