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I think a lot of your feelings are normal. I think even in an open adoption things can change easily. The fact that you can voice it helps. If you feel comfortable enough I would let your childs bmom know that sometime in the future you are willing to open the doors just a little more.
People who don't have an open adoption, like me, get to see what it is like thru people like you. I envy what you have. You will be ok, and hopefully just keep moving forward a step at a time. That is all anyone can expect.
I will keep you in thought that you find a little peace in the upcoming week and congratulations. You deserve to be happy too.
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