[EZ2Luv]

I am an adoptee form the closed era and am very glad the adoption was closed. I know myself enough to know that I would have neen confused and struggled to who I should be loyal to. Trust me, though open adoption seems ideal for the adults, young adoptees are the ones caught in the middle.
I know times have changed and there is an importance of having the children know about their bfamily, but I think it should belimited to adult interaction until the child is old enough or shows signs of wanting to know.
I am speaking soley of my own experience here. If there is one thing I have learned about adoption is there is no "one size fits all"

Also, children a pretty preceptive in that they can pick up on how adults feel. Imagine for a minute a young child being caught in the middle of how both sets of parents feel? They are going to feel as though they are responsible for perhaps bmom being sad(just an example). That is a huge responsibility to place on a child.
Do I think all adoptions should be close? No. I think semi open would be ideal where the aparents let the bparents know the child is well through pictures and semi annual updates. I think that the information should be there for the child if and when they choose to want it, but this is about the child so it should be entirely their decision.
Adoptees are innocent victims of decisons made by the adults that are supposed to care for them .
Ido not think it is fair for PAPs to misrepresent themselves and agree to OA only to close it up when the ink dries once the final papers are signed,but I think that the whole OA vs CA vs semi OA, should be played by ear and contingent on how things play out rather than have an agreement etched in stone so to speak.

EZ