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Here's the thing. Adoption IS different. It DOESN'T mean you love them any less than your bio child, but there are different aspects to adoption. That doesn't make it BAD, it just makes it different. Even two bio children are going to be different, with different needs. To expect that everything is going to be exactly the same with any two kids is a set-up for disappointment.
Bottom line-they ARE adopted. They DO have other family members that have had an influence on their life, at the VERY least, biologically. To pretend anything different is a great disservice to your children.
Children learn what is "normal" and what is "ok" from the adults around them. If we act or give the appearance that something is a secret, or bad or abnormal, or second rate, that is the truth they will live with. If we raise them that something is good and positive and not scary, they are more likely to live with that truth. If they ARE to wonder about or ask about their other mommy, that is not wrong, and it does NOT minimize your importance in their life. It just IS what it is. They are chidren. They will ask questions. Your response will tell them how secure you are with your relationship with them.
Don't hide it. Don't fear it Don't try to make their life experiences exactly the same as your other child. Love them with all your heart. Tell them the truth. Raise them to be proud of their origin, proud of their place in your family, and proud of who they are as a result of ALL the people that love them.
Best wishes.
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