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Find an attachment therapist for your children (and you) to work with and find a therapist that works in family issues for yourself to work with. I think you need both. I suffered from PAD - it sounds like you could be suffered as well. It's not fun to feel guilty, but know that you are NOT alone...there are many of us. There is a board here called post adoption emotional support (I think) - try looking for it and maybe posting there or at least reading some of that material. I still struggle (at 3 years home) to bond with my middle child. It is sad, but I'm getting help for them and me (they both have minor forms of AD). So, I just wanted to offer a cyber hug and tell you that you are doing the best you can. Attachment parenting takes a lot of emotional response out of it and allows me to be more calm - when I'm doing it well! That could be helpful for you as well.
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