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My son is not yet 2 and we have an open adoption with his birthmother (bdad has dropped out of the picture at this point). When we see her I say things like, "Remeber, this is S and you grew inside of her tummy ansd she loves you so much!" When we look at her photo I just say "this is S and you grew in her tummy." I sometimes read him adoption storybooks. Some of them are about international adoption or other types of adoption that are not exactly like his story, but that is okay because he is learning about the different ways children come into their familes. We hope by talking to him about adoption a little at a time, he will learn his story.
You might want to look into information about Lifebooks...we are doing one for our son. It is basically a scrapbook of your child's life story including adoption and what is known about the birth family. It is like a baby book but more in depth, a jumping off place for tlaking about adoption and a personal keepsake for your child to help understand the story of how he or she came to be in your family. It can grow as your child grows.
Right now we have pictures of our son's birthfamily, our family profile that we submitted to the adoption agency, something I typed about our adoption journey, a picture from his day at adoption court. As he grows up we will include more.
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