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I have the same worries as you, but I am learning (mainly from these boards) My dd is 22 months old and I make a point to read her books about adoption here in there. IN the beginning that's all i read and I realized I WAS making her different. Now I just incorporate them into our stack of books. I did do her a book on shutterfly about how we had prayed for 10 years for her and then how she came to us. We have two older bio children (19 & 13) and I worry that she will feel different, but everyone is educating theirself to make sure we do the best we can. When we have seen her bio family we haven't made a point to say "that's your birthmom" . We is still to young for that. Good luck
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