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Well, first, I think I would start teaching them the different ways people become families, birth and adoption and, in your case, foster/adoption. Talk about it often. Then, once they understand it more, tell them how they became part of your family.
I think all situations are going to be different. You just have to make it about the children and the love that everyone has for them. It's their story. I think age appropriateness is a necessity. I wouldn't dwell on the negative aspects of bparents' choices. I probably wouldn't even go into that until they are old enough to really understand, like mid to late teens.
Be prepared for questions. Try not to feel guilty for saying I don't know, if you truly don't know the answers.
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