[3blessingsandmore]

would like some advice from those of you who have "been there done that" on adopting a child they have had as a foster child.

I will give you some background on us first My DH and I have been blessed with a wonderful 17 year old son and we have been married for almost 20 years. Last year we decided to become foster parents, to open our home to children that needed a lovng secure home until RU or if they were TPR adopting them. We had decided we would be committed to them for however long God allowed them to be with us.

"Princess"and "pumpkin"were placed with us 15 mos ago at the age of 10 mos and 23 mos old, we have a finalization date on their adoption on Nov 25. The girls were placed originally as a temp situation but things changed and parents couldnt/didnt work on their case plan, there was no visitation from either bio except 1hr visit from bmom after 6mos in care and I thought Princess being 2 1/2 years old would remember her but didnt, she ran right past her to the CW she remembered and asked for mama (me) the whole visit. Bmom stayed out of the picture (not working on caseplan) and didnt stay in contact w/ the CW she and Bdad for pumpkin resurfaced for tpr mediation. We intro ourselves to them and let them know that the girls were doing well and however things turned out we would always be there for the girls and that we loved them. We had another hearing and the bparents approached us and asked us if they were to relinquish rights were we 100% sure we would adopt them, and of course we were. They made the hardest decision ever by putting their childrens needs first and decided to let them be in the stable home they were in with the only"Mommy and Daddy" they know. TPR was granted and we agreed to keep them updated with pics on their bdays and Christmas, we gave them our phone # and PO Box and have sent them some pics already.Again the only contact with bfamily since they came into our home (15 mos ago)has been 1 hr w/ bmom and 1hr w/ bmoms father.

My question to you is how did you handle the adoption aspect of this, I know without these wonderful people we wouldnt be blessed by these 2 sweet girls. We are the only family they know(for now),so when and how do you talk to them about adoption. Part of me feels like they dont know anything but us and I want them to be raised just like a raised my bs but I know they are a part of them but I dont want it to come out by accident( say we run into a member of Bfamily) and it be a surprise but I also dont want them to grow up feeling any different than my bs did because their isnt any difference between my 3 kids.

Please give me some advice, the only person I know who was adopted was a bil that was adopted in a closed adoption 45 years ago and knew he wanted to find his bmom and made it his mission(he has 3 adopted siblings). Of course pumpkin and pricess case is different I have and will always have info on their family unlike my bil and his advice is based on a different time where adoption is concerned. I want to be mommy to these girls and not have them wonder about their other mommy until they are old enough or if its already brought up while they are younger than maybe its not such a big deal because they will grow up knowing we chose them. ?????? HELP!!!!!! Is there a difference if you adopted them out of foster care or if you adopted them straight from the hospital???

I appreciate your help and you have been invaluable this last year with your advice and posts.

3blessingsandmore