Feeling, I think you have a valid question that you have somewhat answered too. Yes, I think we all hold BFamilies (BMom's espeically) to a higher standard as they are in our minds as connected to our children as we are. We wouldn't miss anything with our kids and expect them to not want to either.
The one thing that we all have to keep in mind, not saying this is how your son's bmom is, but it might be too difficult for them to be that involved too. Aunts and Uncles see only the happy part of our childrens lives. They see that they have a happy family. The bfamily sees that happy family through sad eyes. They see that they can't give that happy life to their child and it may make it harder to be there for the happy moments, or visits for that matter.
Now, you and I have talked so I don't think this is where your sons bmom is coming from at all. Your anger towards her is fully justified. I just answered from my heart in a general manner.
