Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Suziebearhugs
I've been thinking over these last couple days trying to figure out if/when we'll get together with my dd's birthfamily.
But today when I was eating breakfast with my dd at school one of her friends was talking about cheerleading.
I mentioned that my dd would probably have fun playing cheerleading with her since she likes to dance.
I asked if she's on a cheer team and she said she just pretends and practices on the playground.
I told her she should ask her mommy about going to a local class that offers cheerleading. Telling her that's where my dd does her dance classes.
She sounded all excited and my dd declared she wanted to be in cheerleading too.
I told her that it's lots of fun because they get to practice each week in a class and then they get to go on a big stage and perform.
I then looked at DD and said wasn't that fun. She said yes and smiled and I told the girl that her friends and mom and dad and grandparents and relatives get to come watch them dance of stage.
The first thing out of my dd's mouth as she frowned was "ya, but my grandma and birthmom said they were going to come a bunch of times but they never came".
Oh, my heart crushed for her. She hasn't mentioned them one bit since the morning of the recital when she asked if they'd be coming, and then a couple weeks later when she realized they hadn't come and we talked about it a little bit.
Now, 6 months later the first word she utters about them is basically that they didn't come and they hurt her feelings. 
My momma bear instincts are popping back up. |
I don't blame momma bear for coming out! It's hard not to be angry/upset when people disappoint our children. Especially when it's their bfamily.
That just got me to thinking.....Do we hold the bfamily of our adopted children to a higher standard than we would someone else in our child's lives?
By that I mean, do we expect them to WANT to interact with our children more than, say, an aunt would?
My sisters treat my ason no different than my biochildren or their other nieces and nephew. They adore him! He is the baby of the family and spoiled rotten! They see him more than once a week most of the time. If they missed his birthday party I would know there would be a vaild reason to make them miss it. I would expect them to be there, but hey, life happens.
On the flip side, my ason's bmom rarely sees him. Not once since March. I have offered numerous dates and places but so far...NOTHING. Now I would expect her to want to see him even more than I expect my sisters to. Why do you ask? Because she gave birth to him! I adore my neices and nephews, but my kids are my top priority. She is not parenting him, but I still EXPECT her to want to see him. I expect her to show up when she is supposed to. But when she doesn't show, I DO NOT expect a valid reason for her absense. I would love to get a valid explanation, but I've learned not to expect that from her. Heck, in all honesty, I have learned to expect nothing from her and that really makes me mad!