This is EXACTLY what had happened with my son.
On paper, he had been put in a residential treatment facility when he was 5 for a month because he caught a blanket on fire and supposedly was abusive to the family dog.
Then, he was removed from a foster care placement for the weekend because he chased his sister with a hatchet.
He also supposedly asked a girl if he could see her privates.
Being a new parent, all of this stuff alarmed me, but my husband and I had long agreed if we got any matches, we should at least meet the child(ren) to see if what was on paper is how they were in person.
I was the only one to EVER question:
1. How could a 5 year old have access to a cigarette lighter to start a fire? What did he do to the dog? He had pulled it's tail and made it yelp. Well, what 5 year old doesn't pull a dog's tail until the mom says NO or it's, unfortunately, bit or growled at by the dog if the mom isn't watching.
2. Why was a 7 year old allowed access to a hatchet (it was later disclosed that his sister gave chase, and he just didn't put the hatchet down in the excitement...COMPLETELY different scenario than on paper!)
3. Aren't 7 year old boys and girls naturally curious at that age (about seeing privates?)...he had offered to show her his if she showed him hers...but that part was never allowed to sink in because of the bad boy they were trying to make him.
He's now 11 and is the star on his basketball team and an A/B student, and remarkably well adjusted.
My daughter, OTOH, was made out to be a saint, and she was QUITE the master manipulator when we met...those adorable dimples got her everything and she couldn't see why that couldn't continue with our family.
That attitude has since been corrected, and she is now 12 and is also the star on her basketball team, and an incredible student and well adjusted, too!
I cringe had I just believed what was on paper and backed out...we'd have sure missed out on some good times with our kiddos!
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Originally Posted by Sam-N-Tony
I think when you talk about a child on paper it can always be and sound so much worse.
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