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Well, you have to put your own (nuclear) family first here, and your extended family should be supportive of this. They should be flexible and try to understand everyone wants to enjoy time with their own children on Christmas. It's pretty sad that they aren't really. Do not allow your mother or anyone else to let you feel bad about this decision. If she lives right across the street from you perhaps you could have dinner and evening Christmas with her or something like that? My husband and I had been having Christmas with my parents, and a separate Christmas with his family anywhere in Dec or Jan (they aren't very close), but last year when we had a 11 month old I offered to have Christmas at our house and invited my parents. I thought I'd have to suffer through the guilt, because they still want to do it all themselves. As it turned out they enjoyed coming here (an hour drive) for Christmas enough to come again this year, and I suspect the Christmas tradition of presents and light lunch has been passed from their house to ours for now. Once my sister gets married it could be a hold nother kettle of fish, but I have to expect that and be flexible about it. The important thing is that we enjoy the holiday and our family without making it rushed and about presents and who slights who. Anyhow, my main point- do what is best for your children's holiday not your mom's.
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