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I deal with almost the EXACT same situation. And another thing that bothers me is how you go on Christmas Eve and the kids get all these neat presents and then we have to come home at 10 or 11 pm and put excited children to bed. That in itself takes an hour or so. BY the time we are done "helping" Santa we go to bed at 1 or 2.
If you can't convince anyone to change, start your own routine for your family and one on another night for anyone who wants to come. Like Dec 23 we started doing some of the Christmas with family. If you have sister , brothers or inlaws that feel the same way -- rushed -- maybe you could enlist their help. Change is hard , but it's your time to make traditions.
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