[crick]

I think what you really need to decide is what is more important? Your mother's guilt and drama or providing traditions and family time for your child to grow up with and cherish?

I have a huge extended family and grew up doing the "rush in the a.m. see your gifts, ooohh, okay now it's time to ready to go!" on Christmas Day. After we had kids I decided I wanted our Christmas to be about us and to me, Christmas is about the kids/family joy.

I told the family that Christmas Day was going to be celebrated as a family and we would not be travelling to the dinner. Didn't go over that well at all, but I've stuck to it and it's worth it to me to enjoy that day in full with my kids.

It might not be easy to deal with your mom's guilt trips, but why ruin your holiday season trying to please her when it sounds like no matter what kind of compromise you try to make it won't work for her?

Another idea you might try is what my brother does. He alternates years for the family gatherings. One year, they spend holidays with his wife's family and the next year is with his.