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waiting
I think what you are feeling is TOTALLY normal. I felt quilty because when my bio kids were born I fellt immediately attached to them. (years of planning and 9 month pregnancy helped). WHen we were told of our dd, we only had 5 days to get us to everything. The idea of another child, the idea of adoption, the idea of potential contact for 18 years with another family. So , even though I DID LOVE her and wanted to protect her, I didn't fall in love right away. And even after I fell in love there was a periond (I think about 8-10 months) that when our lives had calmed back down and gotten "normal" that I worried that the love was different from the first two. My dd didn't seem to need me as much as my bio's did. (They were breast feed) . She was happy no matter who consoled her when she was hurt. I begin questioning why she didn't want me when she had a need to be met. That passed very quickly when she developed the need to make me melt when she learned to give kisses and hugs and eventually say luv ooooo. Then by 1`3 or 14 months she started wanting ME when she had a need. I believe in my heart that I loved her as much as my first two right before then, but now I love her in the same way. you know the , "I would lay down and die for you feeling." But in some ways the way I love her feels (stronger is not the word I want to use) more unique. She came to us in such a unique way. Don't beat yourself up. Attachment will come. One thing I did learn during that time.... Make sure you are not expierencing depression. That can make you feel different, without making you actually depressed. I know many people that went through that.
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