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So, my irrational anger isn't directed at my kiddo's mom, just things in general.
How the heck is fair that a 15 year old can get pregnant and the world rushes to find her help, but I get pregnant, ask for help and get told I'm making a good choice?
How the heck is it right that I can't have more children but I see kids that are the product of neglect and abuse everyday, who will reproduce and continue that cycle?
How the heck is fair that same people above will get to keep their kids but I had to make a "loving choice" based mostly on fears of inadequecy and finances?
The one other thing that makes me angry is that idea that because I placed my son I should have stayed static and never changed because now it might be hard for his mom and dad to explain to him why someone who is successful and has a good life placed him. I would be dead if I would have stayed who I was, it wasn't an option.
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First mom to the amazing Kiddo and adopted adult.
1-4-2009 Mom and I visit Kiddo despite the bad weather. He really loved the blue mittens I made him and even helped me plan my living room. Apparently Hot Wheels wallpapper is the way to go.
2-16-2009 I got a promotion, that comes with a raise. Mom and Dad are visiting and we're going to Al's for pie to celebrate.
4-27-2009 Dad surprises me with a Lady Ugly Stick (an awesome fishing rod that is pink) and a 2nd Iowa Light Artillery Battery jacket. I'm a lucky girl!
5-30-2009 Kiddo turns five. It is hard to believe he is that old already, it seems like just yesterday he was being born. I was at peace for the first time on his birthday, what a nice feeling.
6-13&14 2009 A cannon live fire in Casper WY. We got third place and I got to see Devil's Tower for the first time, it was pretty awesome.
7-4-2009 Amelia the kitten comes to live with me and Liz. Talk about jealousy, Liz will adjust though.
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