[JustPeachy]

Not every birthmother wants contact, just as not every adoptee wants contact. It is hard to say what the reasons are in your birthmom's case. I've always been open to contact, and even still, the prospect of reuniting still scares me with all the emotions and unknowns! So for someone who was involved in a closed adoption (I'm assuming being 30 years ago, it was closed), it can only be that much harder. Everything was handled with the utmost secrecy and the women were told in no uncertain terms that reconnecting was NOT an option. There are some birthmoms who don't want to open that door once it has been shut, perhaps because it would be too painful to revisit or they have internalized the shame and judgement of society and their own family members at the time. And I don't think even the possibility of a knock on the door or phone call would occur to them, as they were assured confidentiality, as were the adoptive parents, that the birthmothers would not come looking for their children, and vice versa. Back then, too, it wasn't so easy to find someone. There was no internet, and people didn't even think to hire investigators to reconnect down the road. Society just didn't support this, and it was drummed in people's heads that you just didn't go down that road, but were rather told to forget about it and move on (as if you could!).

As far as why your birthmom didn't terminate, it could be any number of reasons. Perhaps she didn't believe in it, was too far gone, didn't have the money, or didn't have easy access to a clinic. Or maybe she really wanted simply to bring you into the world but not have any sort of future relationship.