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[=Samonster]hah yeah im 18 and i knwo there is nothing i can do about the current situation ive gotten myself into i knwo that my daughter needs me, to be honest i think i need her more then she needs me, its sad how im trying to lean on my baby.
i know that one day i will be "important" to someone and thats what everyone trys to do is become important or stay important
i know that for a very long time i will be lonely and no one will be able to fill that void in my heart, so i will push people away. there for i will be lonely.
i dont knwo im trying to say what exactly the future has in store for me, i dont knwo that for a fact. thats just how i feel now. im just really confused
Hence the thread "I'm confused"
ugh
my post are run arounds and i feel that as the days go on im no longer making much sence
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SAM, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR COMING HERE TO SHARE YOUR JOURNEY. I DO THINK YOU ARE MORE CAPABLE THAN YOU THINK...AND I THINK I READ WHERE YOU DID ADMIT, THAT NONE OF US ARE GUARANTEED ONE MORE DAY...THIS IS A RULE I LIVE BY...AND I AM FAR BEYOND 18...LOL! Does this mean I am always right...NOT...but maybe this will give you food for thought: If you want to raise your child there are many programs and services to make that possible. Parenting and life skill classes ARE available. Some programs offer housing for mothers & their babies. The BOND between mother &child is stronger than any other on earth. If you break this bond, the consequencs will be more severe than you could ever imagine.. When a mother loses a child to adoption, it IS like losing a piece of herself...You may learn to live with it, but the pain ALWAYS remains! In MOST, cases it is a loss that is never completely resolved. MOST of us, and I feel this includes you Sam, are far stronger than we know, until we are tested. Even if raising your baby sounds beyond your ability, MOST Moms are able to meet the challenge and DO parent very well! There is nothing selfish about wanting to raise your baby, it IS perfectly normal and right that you should WANT that. Motherhood changes a women FOREVER, There is NO going back to ones former self, WETHER, you parent or not, there is no going back, and you sound so determined not to! Parenting at a young age , and doing it well, is very possible. Becoming a MOM often motivates you to be MORE responsible...for the sake of your child. Do you think you aren't ready to parent....Mother Nature/GOD thought you were! You do have time to prepare yourself to become a parent. Remember, too, that fertility does not last forever,(no matter our age), when you FEEL ready to be a mom, it may or may not come along! Adoptive Parents are not perfect people IMMUNE from all of lifes problemsand issues. They have money, alcohol, and drug problems just like EVERYONE else. Maybe their issues do NOT surface in a homestudy, OR their problems MIGHT develop later on...AFTER they have already adopted ! Adoptive parents die and divorce, just like you and I. Alot of people say the PAIN after relinquishment will get better, and you will move on...for SOME natural Moms , this happens....Other Moms say the pain gets worse as time goes on and they have great difficulty TRYING to move on with their lives. But for some...their anguish and pain is debiltating and lifelong! SAM , I am not trying to tell you what to do...because you are smart enough to handle your life, as is evident in all your post....But no one told me these thing, and the pain of relinquishing my twin sons HAS lasted for 22 yrs! Yes, all of us First Moms do go on and we do manage to live A life to some degree, happily! But we never get over the loss of our child(ren). Please keep posting, for regardless, we care AND DO , understand....I send this with only much affection and serenity!
