I did talk to my friend today and it went okay. She didn't see why it bothered me at first; said that none of it was meant as racial comments and definitely not in a negative way. She also said that she grew up with a lot of racial diversity (I didn't, but that isn't the point) and those kinds of comments were common with her friends of other races, etc. At first, she said I was being overly sensitive, but I insisted that I wasn't. I let her know that it wasn't okay with us and that although we know there will be plenty of negative comments made about our child's race, we don't expect them to come from family and friends. After talking for a little while, she did say that she could see how it would be offensive to me and that she and her dh will be more careful in the future. She also referred back to some of our other conversations and asked if comments she'd made then had offended me because she wanted to say the right things in the future. Overall, it went well. I still don't understand her way of thinking about those particular comments, but I probably never will.
She also assured me that she and her dh are totally supportive of our adoption and can't wait to meet our daughter. We'll see what the future brings...if she does indeed keep the comments in check around us, everything should be fine...but I guess only time will tell.
I am protective of our unborn child and want to be her best advocate in all matters--I think my mama instincts are already kicking in! Although in all honesty, this had less to do with protecting our child and more to do with a lack of respect toward my own feelings.
Thanks for all of your thoughts
--it was good to get my "feet wet" in addressing negative comments. I know it is just the beginning and I want to be more outspoken about it in the future.
