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As an adoptee I would not want my 2 mothers to to discuss reunion without me.
I think all you can do is suport your son and let him know that you feel bad his other mom is having such and hard time with this and how it must make it difficult for him.
I agree with the others, stay out of his realtionship with his amom. It could get very complicated as I am assuming that on some level he does love his amom and does want a realtionship with you also. So if amom is giving off bad vibs about thereuion and about you it is only causing him more confusion and angst. Try to take the higher ground..as hard as that may be!
I know for me it would have been horribly difficult if I had to deal with the insecurities of my mothers, as much as I had symphthy for their positions I did NOT want to be the go between unless I was sure they could treat each other with total respect for my sake.
My mothers never met. They have both passed away. And to be honest, I don't think that at thae time that my reunion was going on I don't beleive it would have been good for them to have met. I think my bmom would have been able to handle better then my amom...as much as I loved and still love her she was also very sensitive sometimes. As much as she supported ME in my meeting my mom I am not sure she could have handled HER meeting my other mom. So it didn't happen.
My bmom did meet my dad and it went fine. My dad aslo encouraged me to go to her services when she died and loaned me the money to fly down.
I think your son needs to do what he needs to do and if amom is not suporting him then he needs to just accept it. She may have a change of heart.
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