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Are you really sure you want them as friends? Seriously. I don't understand why they would make racial comments (joking or not) in general, but the fact that you are adopting an AA child and they still insist on making these comments suggests to me they don't have the characteristics I'd want in a friend, even if there is a long history.
I would address it ASAP and just come out with it. I wouldn't worry about "offending her" as long as you are direct and honest, there is nothing offensive about that. Tell her you find these comments unacceptable and ask her if she and her husband are willing to, for the sake of your friendship, stop saying these things in front of you. If she does not honor your feelings, I'm afraid you will need to reconsider this friendship. Maybe you and your husband can talk to this couple together and gauge their reactions. If they say you are being "too sensitive" or they are "only joking" they are disregarding your feelings. The proper response would be "sorry we offended you, we will respect your wishes and not say these things in your presence, as we value your friendship too much and don't want you to be upset." One would hope they would curtail or stop altogether this nonsense, but you cannot control what they think in private or say to others. You can't even control what they say in front of you, but I would hope that they would value your frienship enough to honor your wishes. Good luck with this.
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