[MB80sgirl]

I would just tell her that she's important to you & her friendship means a lot to you, but that those comments really bother you & hurt your feelings. That you want her involved in yours & your child's life but you want your child to feel good about herself & those kind of comments will make her feel bad. I know how hard this is, I'm the kind of person who doesnt like confrontation & really values friendship, but I know that I want my child (if she ever comes) to be around people who respect her & dont make fun of her. If your friend doesnt see it that way after you talk to her, you can at least know you tried.
I totally get how you feel, most of the time I feel like no one understands me & why adopting a specific type of child (AA girl) is so important to me, & if I had one good friend who really understood it would make this long wait just a little easier.