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Originally Posted by Suziebearhugs
...because there is an intimate and special connection the birthmother has with the child she places.
It's like no other relationship between other family members and the child.
For some it's hard to see another Mother figure in the picture, when you are parenting the child. Yes, it's very different than co-parenting. But some of the feelings can be the same.
I know it's hard for my daughters birthmom to hear my daughter call me mom. Even though she choose adoption. It's still hard soemtimes. Just as it's hard for me to see the strong physical connection she shares with her birthmom that I don't and will never have with her because she isn't my bio-child.
I think it's a real concern fro some parents considering open or semi open adoption. Trying to decide how much contact they will actually be comfortable with and sometimes you have no idea until your actually in the situation, living it.
No your not co-parenting but yes, the child has a relationship and connection with the birthparent than is different than any other family relationship.
One very close to your own connection as an adoptive parent. You are both MOTHERS to the child wether the other mother is parenting or not and that can be intimidating for some or hard to process, when it's actually in yoru face.
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I HAD A GREAT BOND WITH MY A-MOM CAUSE SHE WAS LIKE THE BEST FRIEND,I EVER HAD.