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Does it sting? Not for me.
Someone else on these forums wrote "we never ask a mother if she has a hard time loving more than one child, why do we have such difficulty understanding that children can love more than one mother."
We chose to have an open adoption for our son (who came to us as a foster child) for exactly that reason. She may not be able to parent him, but she can love him and he can love her. And that is no reflection on me or his bond with me.
He may also someday search for his bdad. And that's okay. I gathered and have kept as much information about his bdad as I could get prior to the adoption.
Do I worry about either bparent having a negative influence? sometimes. But if I give him unconditional permission to know and love them - I think I am on better grounds to talk with him about my concerns.
Of course - he's three now, and it's just a theory for me now. Ask me again in 15 years.
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