[dlhall]

Need some advice on how to handle problems between my two children. I have a dd who is 7 and small for her age (43 lbs and 44 inches); her brother is 3.5 and is big for his age (38 lbs and 40 inches). He is very aggressive with her--always pushing her, sitting on her, hitting her. Most of the time he is either playing with her and not intending to hurt her or trying to push her out of the way so he can have all my attention. She's a drama queen and whines and cries everytime he touches her, and I know for a fact that most of the time she is not actually hurt. Additionally, she also eggs him on (poking at him, taking things away from him etc.). I'm at my wits end!

Today there were at least 4 whining, crying incidents where he was either sitting on her, pushing her and had thrown something at her (and that was just between 3-7pm and she was gone for an hour at gymnastics!) I end up yelling at both of them and punishing them both because I know she's not totally innocent, and I want her to stop whining and to start defending herself, but at the same rate she knows she'll get in trouble if she hits him back, so she is definitely in a catch 22. Any advice?

Thanks,
Liz