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ouch. That is a very tough spot to be and not one that I am familiar. That kind of treatment is deplorable and not the way anyone should be treated. So many of us adoptees get similar treatment by the system that allows the dangling of carrots in front of us knowing that we will rarely be able to grab one with their method. To have it come from a "Christian" family makes it even worse.
Although it hurts you to not have contact, I'd say write them off unless they decide to treat you right. Don't respond to letters, e-mails, phone calls, etc... until any of them are ready to be rational and deal with your needs on your terms. You are not a play toy to be jerked around and had fun with. It sounds like this behavior has been the norm and isn't going to change soon.
Focus on your children and yourself. You can still look for your bmother in the interim but again you open yourself up to a new world of emotional turmoil.
My best hopes and wishes for you.
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