[bromanchik]

I think you need to write a letter to her now. She needs to know her full story (and yours) I would also address her Dad's remarks. You can agree with him that pre-marital sex is not a desirable thing, that sometimes people make poor choices, but that does not make them bad people. I would be more than happy to go over a letter with you.

The bottom line is that you need to defend yourself now. These comments from her father are effecting her now. Give her the real story and then let her process it.

My son is now 24. We went through a couple of questioning periods. However, his adoptive parents were always supportive of me. It makes a big difference.

I am so sorry they are dragging you into this and that your daughter is being pulled in so many directions.