I've decided that breastfeeding our new daughter would be the best way for me to bond with her. I don't feel like she is mine yet....I feel like I'm taking care of someone elses child. So, in an effort to forge a mother-daughter bond, I'm going to start BF.
I gave birth in July to a surrogate baby! So, it shouldn't be too hard to get my milk back...hopefully!!
I hope everyone doesn't mind this journal of sorts being here! I would love imput, suggestions, questions, and overall support to come into this thread...for all who might respond!
Oct 21
I'm not feeling a bond to our daughter yet. It's kinda stressing me out and I'm sure if I didn't have my other two kids here it would be much worse. So, in a 30 min period I decide that BFing will probably be my answer! I browse the internet for suggestions and decide on the following regime!
I will buy a Supplemental Nursing System. Medela seems to be the brand that I can get my hands on fastest. So, I call the LL and they send me to store, who sends to me a clinic who actually has one!!!!
I tell them I'll be there at 4!
Next on the list is a breast pump! Craiglist was my answer and I found a great Pump in Style double for only $125! She'll let me pick it up at 5!
Now for some meds....DH is military and I have a hard time getting appts. Plus the meds I want, Domperidone, is not used in the US anymore...so to the internet I go! I buy it from a New Zealand pharmacy(don't need a presc. there)...$40.00 for 200 pills. They should get here in 2 wks!
I get home with my SNS and my PIS....and wonder what I should try first! I know this is going to hurt like h3ll whichever I choose! DD seems to be hungry...so I go with the SNS! This thing is difficult to work with! And it takes me a min to get her latched on with milk dispenser in her mouth correctly. In the end I'm covered in formula...yummy!! After about 15 I can't take the pain anymore, so I decide to switch her to the other breast....well, that was a bad move. We spend the next 20 min very frustrated at each other to say the least! She won't latch on...milk is dripping every where....she's irate...ahhhhhh
I wanted to call it quits right there. I end up giving her a bottle for the rest of her milk b/c she won't latch on.....grrrr.
So, I go to bed in pain and very frustrated. I decide that I can't do this at night...so she's going to get a bottle!
Oct 22
She wakes up at 8:30 and I have the SNS all ready to go! She latches on perfectly to the breast she didn't want last night and drinks very well! Unfortunately the pain becomes too much and I have to pull her off and let her finish her milk in a bottle. BUT she would have drunk the whole amount if I let her stay on the breast....I just couldn't take it!
So, I'm heartened today and I don't feel like selling all the equipment that I just bought like I did last night! I've decided to take is slow...which is hard for me.
My next dillema is getting liquids in me. I don't drink a lot. Maybe 16 ozs a day(including coffee...
)....bad I know! So, I've made it my mission to get my fluid intake up! I'm doing to drink 8 ozs of water every hour to start!! To make sure I'm doing that, I got a 1 cup measure and filled it up and poured it into a glass! WOW it was hard to drink it all!! LOL!
The goal for today is to use the SNS at every feeding session for as long as I can! And b/w feedings I will use the PIS! Bring on the pain!!