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Biggest obstacle ... trying to figure out what our relationship is and what it's supposed to be. I don't think that our children's birth mother knows either. I want to be friendly, but at the same time, we can't be "friends" with her. She has so little support and with a friend, I'd be more than willing to loan money, help with clothes, etc., but can't be put into that position with their birth mother.
I also don't know how comfortable she would be knowing about our day-to-day difficulties with the kids (nothing major, just because they're kids!). I don't want to paint everything with roses, but at the same time, I don't want her to regret placing them with us if we talk about the hard times.
I'm also worried that whenever I say something ... anything ... that it could cause her to disappear and we'll never hear back from her again. The agency wouldn't help with facilitating that, so once she decides that she doesn't want to communicate anymore, we are going to lose track of her, to the detriment of our children.
Obviously we haven't "worked through it" yet. All we can do is try!
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