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Right now my biggest obstacle is that ds's firstdad has completely dropped out of the picture and does not return e-mails etc. I have found out that he is using herion and spent 10 days in jail. I am very worried about him and have to resist the urge to try and "save" him. He is so young and very alone. his own mom had him at 15 and was addicted to crack. He chose to place his son because he said he didn't want his child to have the kind of childhood he had. i feel that was a self-fulfilling prophecy and now rather than deal with his emotions about placing his son, he has turned to self-destruction. And men don't reach out for support the way women do. I just want him to be healthy, and I want ds to be able to know him and look up to him one day.
ON the other hand, my realtionship with S, my son's first mom, is closer than it ever has been. We have had a lot of great bonding experiences lately, some including our son and some just the 2 of us. And she is going to cut and color my hair this weekend! I really feel like the 2 of us are working together for the benefit of ds.
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