|
i want a semi open as in picture i could not bare to see her. living. i want to hold her why wouldnt i? after nine months of having her in me i cant wait to meet her. im just afarid i wont let her go and get all "head strong" when shes placed in my arms, i knwo i need to focus on what is right for her and thats why im still going thrugh with this its just hard. i want to be the one who gives her a chance and be the one that she is with, her parents are wonderful people and i had dinner with them last night and i love them, that might sound sick but i do. there is just something about them that makes me feel at ease, i knwo in my heart she will make a great mom and he will be an amazing dad..
i just wish that i could give that to MY daughter and not have someone else give it to her and i think thats the hardest thing in all of this is i want to do this and i want to do that for her and i cant
my whole life i have been the backbone for everyone, everyone needed me and i was the support everyone needed, and now faced with something of my own i cant not support her and it confuses me on why i cant and why it would be so hard, it breaks my heart to think that i can help everyone else out but when it comes to my self im at a lose for words and thats when the anger sets in..
i just need help figuring my self out i think i need to talk to someone with a dregree in this sort of self confusement thing..
i know what i need to do i just dont want to..ill figure myself out sooner or later for now my daughter needs to be safe and i need to knwo that she will be okay
|