[kakuehl]

My dear, you are mistaken... it is normal to cry when you read things. (At least if it isn't, many of us are abnormal!) Even without the other stresses, the changes your body is going through right now, take their emotional toll. Your emotions are going to be all over the place (and yes that it normal). Hang in there. Talk to us... we've been where you are! (Many of us anyway.)

Unfortunately, regardless of your final decision, you will probably always have regrets. I was older than you are when I placed and frankly had more resources in my parents than you have. I chose adoption and I still feel (36 years later) that it was the best choice for D. I'm not always sure it was the best choice for me.

What kind of an adoption are you planning: a closed one where you will not see her again; a "semi-open" where the aparents will send updates and pictures; or a "fully" open one where you will get to visit with her occasionally and watch her grow and where she will get to know you. None of the options are easy and you relinquish the right to parent her.

Have you been getting counseling? Please do if you haven't. Have you explored the available resources if you choose to parent?

This may well be the hardest decision of your life. Please don't feel pushed to make your decision before you are ready.