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i knwo its not normal to cry when i read these things. your just helping but you all seem to be saying the same thing.. spend time with her, and i cant. I love her so much. its taken me forever to write these few lines my watering eyes make it hard to see the letters on the key board.
my life has done this to me, ive done this to myself, i dont have a place to live i have no car, i dont even have clothes for myself, she needs and will get better, i love her so much that i HAVE to let her go. i dont want to.
I keep telling everyone that im "fine"
im not and im not going to be, i dont want to let her go. ever, i want to be her mom..i dont knwo what i want
i think im so strong, but im a baby myself.
im so angry..
with my mother for not showing me how to be a mother.
at myself, i make my self sick
and at her father. who decided that some 40 year old woman and drugs were more important
sleeping at night ive never wanted his hands on my belly more. and i blame him for me not being able to be there.
in a sick way. im just so mad.
shell be here soon. im only happy when i think about her, this little being makes me smile, i cant even do that for myself,
my ****en life is to much to handle
i hold my belly and cry myself to sleep each night..
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